How Unsubscribes Make Me Feel

This whole blog thing is as much of a personal endeavor as it is to shine a light on what I do and why. I’m not a particularly outgoing person. I bet that surprises most people that know me because you see me out and about a lot, running (and flying) to events, to openings, to galas …

I’m a very curious person. When there’s a topic, technique or a skill I don’t know how to do, I develop a passion and laser focus for learning everything I can about it.

I’m an autodidact. I have mastered musical instruments, baking, computers, drafting, upholstering, and eventually landed in a field that requires a great deal of curiosity: interior design.

The creating comes very natural for me, yet the attention-grabbing does not.


Before social media, blogs, even e-mail, I suppose we relied on books, speaking engagements, networking and word of mouth to communicate to the world that we exist.

Those haven’t gone away, but now in the connection economy, we can reach (and disregard) so many more people much sooner and efficiently.

Natural Selection

Attention is a commodity. It’s a hot commodity because ways that our attention used to be grabbed — TV, Billboards, newspaper ads — has been slowly replaced by our smart phones, tablets and computers.

Our attention is valuable and we don’t entrust it over to just anyone. What’s even more interesting is that our attention matters so much to some and not to others, that  there is a market for trading attention.

Mercedes Benz can care less (for now) about the attention of busy college and grad students eating ramen noodles every day. In fact, ignoring or dismissing attention from various tribes saves them lots of time and resources on marketing. There’s ways to filter them out and it goes both ways.


That gets us to permission. No one likes spam. It’s the modern day’s version of junk mail, which sometimes works in grabbing attention but almost always ends in the trash.

Opting in, raising your hand and saying, “yes I want more” is the best way to build a tribe of followers. It’s funny that it’s called followers because it’s just another word for saying what you have to say matters enough for me to pay attention. And when that attention wanes — click — not interested anymore.

And slowly over time, the only ones left are the individuals who hang on every word and can’t wait until the next interaction.

That said, in the two short months I’ve been committed to writing these posts, I have received so much great feedback and thanks!


There’s a few ways you can follow my blog posts. If you know what an RSS Feeder is then you can get the updates delivered immediately to your feed. It’s kind of like an inbox and a feed in one.

Otherwise, you can check back here from time to time on your own.

Also each month, I auto-send an email digest out to everyone in my relevant contact list. And with that, I get reporting. Among that, it lets me know who unsubscribes from the list.

Who Unsubscribed This Month

I’m not going to name names! Honestly, based on what I’ve said about managing attention, it shouldn’t bother me. I shouldn’t even look at the list for my own mental health.

But it still stings!

It also gives me interesting insight. I mean, there are many reasons for opting-out, such as duplicate emails, inadvertent inclusion, wrong email addresses, work email, etc.

But in this day of passive unfollowing and even the ability to mark an email as spam without anyone knowing, it’s easy to be discrete and polite and still be sincere.

“It’s not for me.” Sure thing, thanks.

“My inbox is crazy enough and I would rather keep it clean.” Mine too, I get it.

But unsubscribing has this tone of aggression to it, doesn’t it? Like Un-friending someone. It seems like the effort put in to physically unsubscribe with a reason is so unnecessary.

Am I being sensitive? Yes, well, that’s me. But it’s the sensitivity that makes me such genius at what I do in other areas.

A Vendor/Service Provider Unsubscribed

This one has me baffled. I mean, let me put it out there. My field employs a lot of people, suppliers and trades. Our clients trust us to cull and edit and vet everyone we work through. They are just as much part of our team as those who work inside the office.

We get a lot of vendor calls who want to get on our short list. We have the attention (back to attention!) and trust of wonderful people who appreciate and have the resources to invest in the custom, unique designs we offer. And those designs require materials that span various industries from fine textiles to dedicated builders, woodworkers, furniture makers, sewing impresarios, etc.

And all these people make a great living doing what they love. It’s quite amazing!

Back to the unsubscriber, thanks for the feedback. I’ll be sure to direct my specifications on the product you represent to other suppliers. Your boss(es) will be very upset, but I respect your wishes more.

Would You Miss Me?

Don’t get me wrong, I want your attention only if you want to give it to me. Thank you for reading this far. All my love to you, a devoted fan! I hope you’d miss these posts if I stopped them.


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