February 9, 2018 platemark

11 Ways to Frighten a Millennial

I know, it’s nonsense, but it’s fun! And it’s a bit nostalgic, too.

Don’t Recycle

11 Ways to Frighten a Millennial

So bad, I know. I would never admit to covering up my Diet Coke can with garbage so no one sees it. Truth is, I’m from the convenience generation of the 70’s when litter was a thing and paper was trash.

Wear Fur

11 Ways to Frighten a Millennial

Will I get in trouble to this? Maybe. Do it, and you might, too. But at least you’ll be warm!

Pay with Cash

11 Ways to Frighten a Millennial

What’s that? I just joined Venmo and I think I used it once. No one carries around wads of cash anymore, like my grandfather did, neatly stacked, folded in half and tied in a rubber band.

Buy a Luxury Car

11 Ways to Frighten a Millennial

Or any car for that matter. Gas guzzlers with leather interiors get you there in style; ride sharing services just get you there. Different experience, different generation.

Drip with Diamonds

11 Ways to Frighten a Millennial

Your bling won’t necessarily impress them. What would Elizabeth Taylor say? Something very witty and cutting, I suppose. “I have too much jewelry,” said no one ever.

Ask for Plastic

11 Ways to Frighten a Millennial

Paper or plastic? Yes! Who can remember to bring the reusable sacs? I think we have 10 of them stored in a drawer somewhere.

Schedule a 7:00am Meeting

11 Ways to Frighten a Millennial

Hell no! I remember when leaving the office at 5:00pm was the kiss of death for your career.

Turn off WiFi

11 Ways to Frighten a Millennial

This would frighten me too. But it would be fun to have a conversation with a person in lieu of our devices.

Use an Incandescent Bulb (if you can find one)

11 Ways to Frighten a Millennial

The warm cast of an incandescent filament bulb gently lights a room with ambient light. The cold LED and compact fluorescents just can’t hold a candle.

Technology is getting better on the LED side though, particularly with the LED filament bulbs.

Business Attire Required

11 Ways to Frighten a Millennial

Yes, a proper suit and tie which, when worn during the hot, sticky summer days, becomes a wick for back sweat. Ladies, don’t forget the panty hose!

Ironically, dressing for success, in my opinion, has never been more difficult. Slap on a suit and you’re done, no thought required beyond which tie to wear.

Ride a Bike without a Helmet

11 Ways to Frighten a Millennial

Or knee and elbow pads. Live a little! Just don’t hit your head.

 

11 Ways to Frighten a Millennial

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