I floated this headline out on a Facebook Ad, and I found, the more I read these words, that it really touches a nerve. Aren’t we all, at some level a bit afraid of being judged?
“I can’t have you over!”
I hear this a lot. Yes, I realize I’m a designer and everyone clenches up on this topic, which is why I want to tease out the sore points.
Our homes might be the plainest reveal into our personal attics of shame.
And we wouldn’t necessarily know it by looking at someone’s style. We can situationally prepare for clothing and fashion and enjoy a do-over each day. Get dressed, leave a trail of second and third choices hanging over the chairs and on the unmade bed. Leave behind open cosmetics, hairbrushes scattered on the bathroom countertop. Grab the perfect shoes and jewelry, out the door, then leave, no one would know what’s left behind.
Until we return home.
Clutter is a convenient veil for fear. And fear is responsible for all the paralysis and distractions (and embarrassment) we endure by treating our homes the way we treat our wardrobes: temporary, easy to upgrade, and easy to abandon if we miss the mark.
But they’re not the same, so the home suffers and the canyon of difference grows wider. It’s only natural that our self esteem would manifest itself within our domain.
Missing out on the Joys of Entertaining
Sharing our home with friends and family is a different form of self-expression. But it’s much more rewarding and long-lasting. Making people feel comfortable in our home is an experience that ignites memories, rather than passing through a day of brief exchanges in a cute outfit.
Though we’re creatures of habit and grow accustomed to the furniture arrangements, colors and even the lack of lighting we decided on move-in day. We might adapt our behaviors and mood to these static conditions rather than uplifting our space to match our aspirations.
It’s overwhelming. Sure, painting an accent wall or purchasing a new coffee table will elicit a quick rush, but soon it will surely set in that it isn’t the keystone we’re looking for. In fact, it might be the beginning of a series of impulse buys that lead back to square one.
There’s a Better Way to Overcome Being Embarrassed
Wearing an exquisite and tailored outfit feels wonderful, but so does returning to a beautiful home.
Just maybe if we carefully craft a home that uplifts and complements the essence of our personal style, then our feelings of pride and inclusion will surely follow.
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